Special thanks to Sammy, Jaks' friend, for helpin me with the browser web title! Yay! Finally have figured out ALL BY MYSELF *pats myself on the back* how to upload pictures on my blog. I know I know, it has tken me a good couple yrs, BUT it's better now than never! Hmmm, ok, so where EXACTLY is my digicam? I have no idea. It's been hidden and buried somewhere for AGES already. I better do some diggin and get it out. To capture some priceless/timeless moments for all to giggle/cry/gloat/poke darts at. Hehe.

I'll start sniffin arnd for cute pix! Hehe. The past couple days have been an emotional rollercoaster for me. For those who are aware of the heartbreakin situation I was in, all's good now. I'm better. Everythin is back to where it shld be. *beams* Because of all the distractions arnd me, I have been unable to start on my assignment and *groans* it is due in a wk's time. Somebody pls shoot me! Need some major muggin and draft-sciptin. Law assignment. 2 words for it. Hardcore. Deadly.

Alrighty. Let me go back to talkin to my boy. *blush* and keep he entertained. Haha.

Guess which feet is mine? 

My godbro, Marcus when he was a little darlin 

Alrighty! Everythin sort of is up and runnin on this blog. The only dumb thing that is annoyin me is that the title does not come up on the browser!!!!!! It's "Intoxications of the Mind" Oh well. Got to get in a pro on this.

Can't get anymore ill than this now. Fever, migrain, hot cold hot cold, swollen sore throat, seein "black patches". The very cute and charmin "Doctor" Jason Tey [he really isn't doc] reckons I have THE FLU! Maybe sighs. Think I'll run off "into the gatherin doom" [as my Law Professor Ms Baron says] and do some work.

As you can see, some major reconstruction bein carried out here. Maybe bein temporarily (thankfully not permanently) bedridden is not such a bad idea. For a complete computer illiterate dim-wit like me who crashed my office OS on the 2nd day at my job, I think this javascript thingy is a major accomplishment to me! *looks proudly at myself* Spent hrs workin this whole "mini project" rather than my pendin Law assignment. I seem to have my priorities all sorted out right?? *rolls eyeballs*

Hope ya guys like this layout and hope I got it right! Really not sure how to host this image so prayin all goes well and I do not become a thief for "stealing" the imagine. Haha. However, before I tk all the credit for this b-e-a-uuuuuu-tiful piece of art, I received very "professional" *ahem* and dedicated effort frm the only and only, Terry Chong, my man!!! He is my heroooooooooooooo. Haha. Thanks heaps for helpin me out, awesome job there! *hugs*

This is such a stark contrast to my borin and plain blogskin that was becomin such an eye-sore to me, if not to you guys. So shagged. Need to rest, recover, do my tuts and assignment tmr.

I can't sleep. Been ill. Hot cold hot cold. Currently am in the hot phase of my illness. Toss left, toss right, can't get to sleep. There's so many things weighin on my mind but out of respect for the party concerned, I can't disclose anythin. Not a single thing. However, many thoughts are zappin through my fuzzy, drugged mind.

I don't know whether I am doin anyone any favours. My decision making skills are minimal, if I have any at all. Makin decisions for myself are one thing, I bear the repercussions and suffer the consequences if they turn out wrong. However, to come to a conclusion abt somethin and then relay it to another party to act upon it, it wld be that 1 person who shoulders the consequences and for me to regret and hurt the rest of my life. I really pray wht I had said then is not to the party's detriment.

I need to clear my thoughts, re-process stuff. In the meantime, gonna keep this short as I am still dreadfully ill.

Songs playin in my head-
1. Luther Vandross - Dance with my father [makes me cry]
2. Usher feat. Beyonce - My Boo (Part 3) [adore it man]

God bless guys... Cheers

I am sick like a big baby.

And my daddy, mummy and korkor can't be contacted. *sob*

I need them here with me now.

Sometimes pple just can't get more thick headed. Ok, so I have been really busy muggin and gettin addicted to Friendster which I'd just gotten. Been so stressed tht I don't have sufficient sleep. However, FOR THE 2 PARTIES CONCERNED, WHTEVER I SAID THEN, I HAVE NO SECOND THOUGHTS OR REGRETS ABT IT COZ FRANKLY, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN WASTIN MY TIME PLAYIN CAT AND MOUSE WITH ME THT I AM SICK OF IT. IN ADDITION, FOR THE SUICIDAL CUM DEPRESSED CHARACTER, GROW UP!

Anyways, I don't have pent up anger or somethin, it's more like grave disappointment. After all the yrs of worrying, caring and frienship, I realise tht some efforts just ain't worth it. I mean, if someone is the pessimistic, melancholy type, you can't be there everythin step catchin them, ESPECIALLY, when they value most of their other friends above you. Right? It makes perfect sense. Why care so much when the friend doesn't care nowhere as much?

I'm sick of all these years, bein the one tht calls, bein the one tht sms-es, the one tht takes the initiative to arrange meetings when the friend just happily contacts her other friends tht means more to her. It tks two to tango, two hands to clap. It's exhaustin and sickening. Therefore, I've cut the chain of friendship that once bound us, to free me of this burden and unnecessary trouble. I'm no longer goin to TAG on her blog and read it to see her bein whimsical. It's a dreadful waste of time you know.... Tht's life for you.

Friends come and go. You don't expect friends to fall at your feet, neither do you do all the work. To all my loved ones, God bless and see ya guys soon. Cheers.

[P.S. I'm fallin sick. =( ]

Dear friend.

Funny how time flies, seemingly with just a rapid snap of a camera shutter. It feels almost surreal to me, as if tht moment was encapsuled in time forever. Memories burn fresh, alightin my soul on fire, stingin me with pain and grieve tht never seems to fade away.

I miss your little kisses on myforehead, whenever ya feel like givin me one. I still can feel the faint touch of your lips brushin my forehead, I can still see you pullin away slowly and giving me one of your famous reassurin bear hugs. Oh, those sturdy shoulders, never failingly and valiantly offered to me whenever I needed the shoulder to cry on.

You kilo-watt smile. Lights up the room wherever ya go to, commands your presence which has not once failed to light up my spirits and day. Whenever I did a naughty deed, you will waggle your finger at me and say.. "I'm such a nag, but you....." and then end with, "but I still love you," flashin me your faultless smile before pullin me into tight embrace, oblivious to the tears runnin down my cheeks which are burnin with shame.

You never once harboured ill feelings towards me, never once lost your temper at me, nor played me out in any manner, though I have left ya down countless times, threw my prissy temper at you and backstabbed you durin those adolescent years. With a heart full of forgiveness, you bore no grudge and still loved me with all your heart. The little kid sister, the most fortunate in this world, you chose and loved.

Everythin of you is etched in my memory, my heart, my soul and spirit. My heart skips a beat every time the vivid memory of you appears in front of me. My heart squeezes ever so painfully, sometimes leadin me to conclude tht it is a matter of time, I will die of a heart attack. And finally, we will be able to come face to face for me to see your beautiful face and hang on to you so that we will never part. Ever again.

I can go on forever abt you. However, you understand I have work committments tht I need to get to. Till the day we meet again, I can only reliquish in those sweet memories.

"I put my heart on the side for a while, knowing you're not thereI tried to carry on to face the fact you're gone but I need you. So I close my eyes. Close my eyes and I dream about you. I close my eyes and I can almost feel you in my arms again." -Close My Eyes by Jordan Knight

Take pride in the person that God made you to be.

Anyone who has seen me today (in and out of church) will prob know how I look like when I die. Practically resembled a ghost, though I made a conscious effort (one of the 1st few times) to dress up. Huimin took one look at me, and went "Rach, are ya ok?" Uh... no? When I reached church and Barry [been chattin with him online every day so he knew I didnt sleep last night] looked at me, he was overwhelmed with concern. "Rach, you look so... so... pale. I think ya better go back and rest." So touched. Aww.... Jason, my care grp sub-leader who just returned frm Vancover, Canada after workin there for more than 2mths reckoned tht I look "positively sickly".

Was dozin off in church, left, right, forewards, backwards, my head was rockin back and forth. It was so rude, coz Jak's dad was "hostin" today's service and Jak's mum was sittin directly behind me. I didn't even have enough energy to smile at them today. Shagged. At choir practice, I was so lethagic tht I cldn't hit a single high note. I felt so ashamed. Merilyn was like.. "Rach, are ya ok? Pls go rest.." I seriously looked so dead I guess. I cldn't go Old Folks home to volunteer as always. I wldn't have held up. So Aaron drove me home. (no more Ashieeee *sob*) Reached home, went to bed. Slept frm 2.30 to 7, got up for dinner, and went back to sleep till 12.30am. Tell me how grilled I am for my exam. I didn't sleep the entire night last night and I'm seriously over-worked.

I felt so bad for not studyin on Saturday night, coz of my housemate, Joy's, bday. Crys, my other housemate, and some of our friends went dinner at Matsuri and the friends came back to our place till like past midnight. I cldn't get any work done without bein deemed anti-social. However, somethin positive came out of it. Previously, my housemates and I were polite and reasonable friendly to one another. (Joy and Crys have been housemates for a sem already, I'm new) but last night, it extended beyond tht. It went to a level never known before. It's was just more than the term "housemates". I found out tht we all bonded like sisters and it was indeed a warm fuzzy feelin. I'll intro each of my housemates in the subsequent posts.

I'm signin off for now. Gonna mug for my 2pm exam. I have exams on Monday, Tuesday and Friday, plus a Law assignment to be collected on Wed due in the followin Wed. I'm dead. Love ya all.

May the Lord bless you and keep you. Cheers.

Up to now, I'd never realize now painful and jealous I'll be if/when my "best" friend in Australia, my closest pal and confidente here, gets attached. I'm sayin this as I feel the impendin possibility of this precious friend of mine seem/appear to be headin towards the path of gettin attached.

No, I must not be selfish. Pray I will get over this phase and moodiness tht is overwhelm me as I personally bear witness to the series of events unfoldin me right as we speak. I think I'm gonna head home.

I realized tht it has been dreadfully long since I'd last blogged. No, I hadn't mysteriously disappeared frm the face of this planet. Damn!

Had been struck down with a severe bout of virus tht left me almost bedridden for more than a wk. High fever, uncontrollable shakin, shiverin, giddiness, vomittin and diarhheoa. Dreadfully unpleasant I must say. I've thankfully sort-of recovered after missin sch for more than a wk, only to return to sch to find out on Monday tht I have 3 exams next wk tht I know nuts abt~! The stress level in my blood stream is runnin high and I'm currently, not so thankfully, sufferin frm exhausion, to the extent I rolled frm the top of the stairs down (3rd floor to the 1st) this mornin. Nevertheless, I'm fine enough to come online to blog to update ya guys.

One [in]valuable lesson tht I've learnt abt relationships lately is tht it doesn't pay if ya bf simply doesn't function on the same wavelength as ya. Sadly, this is the case for me. It simply doesn't mean "Oh, I'm more mature than him.." But rather, the maturity levels simply don't match. More than not, it's gets really tiring just explainin the simplest, most obvious things tht he doesn't get and perhaps it might frustrate him in a similar way, I don't know. My patience was simply stretched to a max, surpassin my tolerance level by the multiples. Thankfully, I've a trusty confidente tht is here to share my woes and keep my sanity. Or ya might just have to visit me in Woodbridge in the near future.

Somethin I hold on to dearly is "Love conquers everythin." Despite all my whingin and everythin, I still feel for him and nothin can change anythin. However, many a times, I feel so discouraged, sometimes love just ain't enough. Somethin which I do regard as words of wisdom. A relationship can't stand on its own. It's a magical concoction of love, trust, compromise, committment, sacrifice and support. It's like a magical spell, it will not work if one of the ingredients isn't present in the brew. I pray for strength, endurance and understanding. Tht things will eventually work out.

Missin ya guys heaps. Promise to update it more regularly. Love you all. *hugs* Cheers.

"You are my North, my South, my East and West.

My working week, my Sunday rest.

My moon, my sun, my walk and talk,

Loving you forever, an eternity long."

-Rach

It's been ages since I last posted an entry. Most ironic of all, I no longer need to queue in sch to use the comp as I have 24hrs a day internet at my place!!!! And have been online non stop for the past 3 days! Yet I didn't blogg??

Everythin's gettin so mundane. Sch, sch, sch and more sch. Tht's why... I started givin myself days off. Haha. More like... givin myself everyday off. Not good Rach. So, I need to start exercisin more self-discipline and be a good girl. After this post, I am... *ahem* goin to hit the bks and study. For the 1st time when sch started.

Alrighty then. Will keep ya guys posted. *muacks* *hugs* God bless. Cheers.