i have the most awful dream last night. i don't even know how it happened. i woke up sick in the stomach. ready to puke.

i dreamt that fucktard had a girlfriend. this short-haired, fiesty little thing. he was wearing his olive green CK lycra tee and DKNY skinny leg jeans. she was in some tiny shorts and a tee. they were standing in front of me making out, with his hands in her shorts around her ass and hers in his front pocket.

she then grabbed his hand and led him to his room and shut the door in front of me. i remember i was just watching on blankly in this dream. somehow, the next scene in my dream was that i was at the mall, and i saw the both of them having a meal... somewhere along the way (its either i forgot what happened in the dream or it got fastforwarded) - i was looking on in her house as they were having sex. while in the 1st scenario when they were making out, i knew i was visible to them - like they cld see me but wanted to prove something to me. but in the scene where they were humping..... i had this sickening gut feeling i was dead. a ghost watching on.

and i got awoken abruptly. by fucktard coming into my room to get something. i find it so hard to face him. after all the abuse i suffered from him, the emotional, the psychologial and then the physical. now i am haunted by him in my dreams.

what do i have to do to wipe my memory clean. get into an automobile accident and lose my memory?