Tuesday, January 24, 2006

the perfect guy for you is the perfection you see in the imperfect man.

i came to this conclusion mid-last year. and mark's latest blogg entry seemed to reinforce this view of mine.

i'd found him. but he wasn't and isn't meant to be mine.

Sunday, January 22, 2006

my post on mark's blogg, unedited and pasted here:

yesterday was tiring but not too bad. after such an eccentric friday night, from the chalet visit with Gerald [my childhood best friend] to walking around my neighbourhood with this obsessively, overly emotional guy, i woke up at noon on saturday feeling a tad bit more refreshed. due to my early working hours, i have been getting out of bed at 4,5 am each morning and only catching 3-5 hrs of sleep per night. been sick because of it all.

spent the whole arvo slacking at home and was msg-ing mark and baby J to see what was going on on a saturday. since mark and i have been unwell (and i learnt that so is baby J), mark and i decided to meet up at PS to get liang teh for all of us. we
met up with anthony at PS briefly and after getting the necessities, we went to look for baby J, who was working then. i think he was pretty pleased to see us and appreciative of the liang teh.

we were at newurbanmale (NUM) @ citylink and i managed to get the rainbow dog for mark. one of my lil gifts to him as an token of appreciation and care. mark seemed pleased with the purchase and placed the pooch on his shoulder for the rest of the day. the only time i "confiscated" it was when we entered ynot and i placed the pooch into my bag for storage. we decided to name the pooch "happy". i reckon corny as it might sound, it is indeed a very apt name for the pooch.

after NUM, we headed to TP to meet one of mark's friends, alvin for dinner. we were caught in the rain and hence headed to alvin's house for a quick clothes change. i wore my pink "this tee looks best on your bedroom floor" NUM tee and mark wore his "cockteaser" tee. hell cute!! we went for a satisfying dinner at a nearby coffee shop before heading to this pub, C U 29. we met up with alvin's friend, dave. a really cute guy. our type. he has this really huggable frame, droopy eyes with an
easy going smile and did i mention, he sings so fucking well? i was won over. completely. but he isn't in my jurisdiction!! why?? boo!

anywho. the pub is really quite cool. mark had a lychee martini but we both agree the lychee martini that we took at rohai's bday gathering thingy is much nicer. i had a mango margarita - not too bad. after a couple hours of singing (yes i did
sing, but after a few weeks of not practising, i reckon i did an embarrassing, not to mention abysmal, job of it all), i got quite edgy and bored. so i called baby J to ask him if he was coming down to join us. he said yeah, which got me really
pleased. mark joked that he reckons i'm more excited to see baby J than he is to see baby J. haha. i think so too - reason being i didn't know any of mark's other friends so having baby J helps. i really like him when we first saw him and
subsequent interactions with him has confirmed that he's a good guy.

baby J rang around 12.30 to say he was reaching ynot so i harrassed to leave C U 29. we headed down to ynot and met up with mark's other friends... cannot really remember all their names but there's terence, jack and chrono or something like
that. mark headed off to dance. baby J was driving so he didn't drink nor dance. so i stood by him. feeling hungry and a little congested inside ynot, we headed out for a spin to grab something to eat before making our way back. mark had a couple more drinks by then was a feeling abit oozy but nevertheless fine. suddenly the music stopped. for like more than 5 minutes i reckon and merrymakers were getting upset, started shouting on all. i found that part of the night a real put off. though i
didn't hang around much inside ynot, the only song i truly enjoyed was the remix of kylie minogue's red blooded woman. the rest of the mixes weren't just enough to get me pole dancing on the podium. currently craving for cheekymonkey's now! i'm a very bump & grind person. i love sensuality, over sexuality. in general, i can't say i preferred ynot to happy or vice versa. both serves to be chill out bars to me and i can spend more time with bro before i return back downunder, which is soon. =(

in the end, when the music started and everyone resumed their bump and grind, baby Jand i decided to wait outside, which was fine by me, we sat by the curb, with me looking utterly unglam. hahaha. i reckon that baby J was feeling quite tired, so he msged mark to ask if he was ready. after an exchange of smses, we suddenly heard a couple loud bangs, which seemed to resemble gun shots. scared the skins out of us. so we thought we better head back to the car, whereby he'll drive me to ynot to get my bag. after that, i went back in to drag mark out because he msged baby J to say he was ready to leave. that was about 3.30. baby J agreed to drop mark off first, so that the both of us can make sure he was fine and all, which i concluded he was. =)

in the end, i cabbed home because baby J wasn't sure his way home from mine. he was kind enough to wait for me to catch a cab before he headed home. wins brownie points with me. i couldn't have found someone better for mark. not in my capacity anyway. i really like baby J. but its all up to them anyways. i hope i can find someone who will treat me right one day, someone sweet and love me for who i am. so far, no such fortune. i can only wish.

nevertheless, i reached home arnd 4ish, exhausted. today is gonna be more chilled out i think, meeting hansel for dinner before watching some outdoor concert. the urge to go cheekymonkeys is great but no kakis. boo!

it's been rach, mark's sis updating!

"good girls go to heaven. bad girls go down under." - NUM

[* as a sideline. mark is right. if baby J was straight, he would have been perfectly suited for me. IF he was straight.]

Thursday, January 19, 2006

its so annoying that my fujitsu isn't ready yet. the service staff at fujitsu are irresponsible and abrupt, no phone etiquette whatsoever. i am majorly annoyed. currently sitting at my former workplace typing this. my ex boss bought me lunch - thoroughly satisfying a buffet. yum. prior to that, i was working the morning shift onsite. ended up at jurong island! oh my goodness, it is like some freaking ulu and got to clear dunno-what-checkpoints. yah, and i had to wake up at like 4 am just to reach jurong east train station. yawn. i hate mornings.

did i mention when i was working on site, i just thought the guys working on site just cannot make it? oh my goodness, allow me my 2 minutes of bitching. i swear justin is like the most annoying, f.ugly, MCP, stubborn. homophobic and immature guy ever to grace my life. firstly, he thinks he is like hot, saying "fucking gays come and bump and grind with me at MOS." i almost retorted in his face "please lah, gays have much better taste than that." mimi reckons that even if i, justin and a gay were the last 3 people on earth. i will rather wank the gay and the gay let me wank him then for justin to be part of it. he can bloody wank himself. seriously. *rolls eyes* and he thinks he is oh-so-mature but really, he just whines like a baby. i can bitch about him forever but i think my blog should be put to better use than to be covered about ramblings of him. ooo, anywho. when i started working at the clinic, the guy working there is hell cute - so my type and bro's. big big eyes, long eyelashes, cute spikey hair, kissable lips, flawless complexion *swoon* and his name taste so sweet hanging from my lips, R-Y-A-N.

work is seriously taking a toll on me. the early hours, the unpredictability of work and yes, did i mention the early hours? i am constantly feeling tired, drowsy and listless. but money is slowly rolling in. sort of. looking forward to a quite getaway with mark, if possible. sigh. even if we cannot leave to go overseas. perhaps staying at hangout@mtemily sounds good. quite interested on doing a following up on that latest chic backpackers lounge. any suggestions bro? would love to have a break before i return to my self-created hell-hole. haha, maybe it isn't that bad but i just am not looking forward to it. away from family, markk, g, girlfriends.... sigh.

i need a hot boyfriend. i really do.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

its been ages since i've last updated. reason being my beloved lappie has been in servicing. its still in servicing right now. gosh, i never thought i could last that long without my darling lappie. anywho. i'm updating on my new laptop as we speak. so some quick updates!!

1. last thursday i went to ntu and saw the cutest guy ever. ok, alittle exaggeration there but he's hot. the rest, cannot make it. xing is so getting his name for me because he disappeared before i cld get to him. damn. i went back to ntu on monday hoping to "strike lottery" again and see him but no such fortune. xing says there's no way i could "zhong ma piao" twice in a row. i was hoping to prove her wrong. his physique is absolutely droolsome.

2. finally got to meet jeff last thursday evening for dinner/coffee with mark. he's every bit adorable in person as he is in real life. he's such a sweetheart - he treats his partner really well. no wonder it left mark and i so envious. hoping to meet him soon before he leaves for hongkong in early february. sigh, yes, he's leaving for HK on a two year contract. why do all the fantastic people i know have to leave me? as long as mark is by my side, i should be ok.

3. been ill for a long while now, to the extent i lost my voice too! even right now as we speak, i'm not fully recovered so i have this really "sexy" hoarse voice. *growl* maybe its the excess eating and sleeping but i have been putting on weight steadily. initially i prided myself for shedding off almost all the 6kg i'd put on in the last semester. i did this all through proper eating and exercising. but the weight seems to be coming back to haunt me. why? i have no idea. i've been good at the gym. though not consistent due to my busted knee and illness. but when i can, i try. *sigh* i hate this.

4. finally started work. working hours are crazy. i start @ 7.30 am! when was the last time i woke up at 5.30 am? like back in scgs days? oh my goodness, that's like ages ago. i really am NOT a morning person. i'm so tired. waking up early and travelling like more than a hour to my workplace. but it's a change of job scope so that's good. nothing much to look forward to at work - all the guys seriously cannot make it. when i said ntu guys are not passable, my workplace guys are worse. you get the drift. ok, i'm not all that pretty so why shld i complain right? true. sighs..... just no motivation mah. hahaha.

5. i wanna get my ring engraved. sounds abit unnecessary or perhaps i shouldn't be the one but the buyer... but thats not the point. thinking i would like to get the date engraved. so perhaps 50 years from now, i can look back in fondness. the ring will always be kept close to my heart. forever. any suggestions for what i should engrave??

6. i bought pretty flats today! i saw sam at work wearing them and i'm like "oh my goodness! they're like the prettiest things!" so immediately after work i went to the shop she purchased it from. i was extremely tempted to get black, the same as sam, since it matches like EVERYTHING but i decided against it. i didn't want more identical shoes so i finally settled on silver. not as pretty but nevertheless pretty. it's more princessy anyways. silver as oppose to black. just a tad bit harder to match. but i should be fine with the silver flats! bro, you so have to see it! its so cute!

7. i so need to buy CNY clothes!! i've bought the shoes already. my pretty bow pumps and silver flats. i bought a pretty golden satin skirt too. oh my goodness, reminds me. i saw like the prettiest dress at zara, which costs a whopping $119! is it gonna bankrupt me or what? it's black with off white stripes running down. its a tube dress with a lil bow under the bust line and it ends past the knees. so so so pretty. anyways, i still need to get a couple more tops and shorts/skirts. i walked suntec with bro yesterday but cldn't find much. need to walk other areas! we're gonna go again right bro?

anyways. thats it for now. soon soon. i promise to update regularly. when my bao bei laptop is back and i successfully transfer my stuff from the old to the new laptop. love loads.

Monday, January 02, 2006

mark is so cute when he is drunk. i wanna take him home!!!!!! i swear he is so lovable when drunk.

i woke up today feeling dreadfully sick again. but my dad's unexpected but pleasant return from his long business trip put me out of the sulky, sickly mood. what an awesome new year gift - my dad's return! =) after popping some medication, i headed out with my parents for lunch and then to keppel. would have gone to the gym if i wasn't ill. but i was in no shape to hop on the treadmill. so hung around the gym and then started doing the unthinkable - i started playing arcade! like harlo, when was the last time since i actually spent more than 10mins in the arcade? eons ago! i was like playing those marvel superhero, fighter jet games!! after that, i headed to parkway with my parents, hoping to buy my mum a birthday present. but didn't manage to find anything. oh, its officially past midnight now so happy birthday mum!! i'm gonna continue hunting later on in the arvo. if not, will get her a belated gift. but yeah. had a great day with my parents. its been an awfully long time since i went out with my parents and enjoyed it.

initially i thought my mum will be shocked if she knew about the diamond ring and who gave it to me. but surprisingly, both parents weren't as freaked out by it than i thought. in fact, they were rather cool about the whole thing. that was until they found out that the ring was from lee hwa's wedding collection. haha. "harmony - harmony in marriage like a duet, a union of two voices.." right, i didn't know that too! mark's reply when i told him its a wedding ring - "thats why i say wait no guy date you hee.. " yah lor!!!! but there's NO way i'm NOT wearing it. it has bloody significance to me! =)

special thanks to my dad's new year/christmas gift to me. so pretty. so worthwhile. thanks heaps. love you dad.

btw, did i mention mark is so cute when drunk?

Sunday, January 01, 2006

MY HAPPY ENDING by AVRIL LAVIGNE

"You were all the things I thought knew
And I thought we could be

You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh..."

don't know why this song speaks volumes to me. struck a raw nerve in me when i heard it. sigh. i know i shldn't be thinking but i can't help it. just can't.
these few days flew by so fast, i cannot really register all that happened around me. to begin, i've finallygot a job!! at this clinic thing. training starts next friday and work the following monday. working hours are long but it's good allowance.... better than nothing anyways so looking forward to working abit before returning to uni.

fell really sick this morning. i couldn't even get out of bed unassisted. with no plans for new year's eve, things looked pretty bleak. but after some tlc from my mum, i felt better. so met up with xing for dinner @ crystaljade bugis. she then was going to meet her friends at esplanade so i went with her. horrible mass of people. i swear i almost passed out there. finally decided to meet mark and another of his friends @ siglap. after losing my temper trying to find my way to the suntec bus stop, i finally hopped on the cab and headed down to coffee club. think it's my illness + foul mood, just felt so snappy. i did feel guilty about losing it with xing but i think this moment had to come, really. in regards to her and ken. so..... yeah. just not the best thing to lose it.

this yr's new year was really low key, chilled out. i appreciated it alot. at the stroke of midnight, we shook hands and mark gave me a kiss. it was meaningful - from a bro to a sis. sadly, for the first time in a few years, i didn't get to spend it with gerald but yeah, all's good. happy new year, G. the medication i popped @ 7ish either seems to be wearing out or i'm getting worse. there's a lot that happened in these few days that i'll blogged about on a better day. let's take a moment to reflect what 2005 was like, shall we? i know i will. and i'll post the significant events that occurred in my life in 2005 in entries to come.

today marks the day that mark will be best man to a close friend's wedding - weddings are so pretty. i wonder when the day will ever come, when someone appreciates me for who i am and i can proudly walk down the aisle with. mark said i deserve someone better [rohai and him were joking about mark's mum and my mum being best friends and his mum matchmaking us]. not true bro. whoever who is worthy of your love is then rightfully deserving. i don't see how i deserve anyone better. i don't know. maybe my brain's a lil foggy right now. all i ask is for someone i can love and love me back in return. thats all i ask for now.

welcome 2006. may it be a better year for all of us.