"I do not fear tomorrow coz I know I'm loved today."

This is a poem written by my ex-homestay mum's friend.

A Year Ago Today

One yr ago today
Our world was turned upside down
When our oldest daughter had a scan
And a brain tumour was found.

I still remember tht day
As clear as it can be
It felt like the very life
Had been sucked out of me.

And twelve mths on
Somehow we've got through
But I know I cldn't have done it
Lord, without You.

I heard someone say recently
They were in depths of despair
And I wondered for a moment
If they knew You were there?

Pple oftern say to me
How do you cope?
I smile and I say
Tht I never give up hope.

And how is tht you manage
To get through each day?
I find a strength frm within
Wht more can I say?

Is not tht we have a choice
We must make the most of our time
It saddens me tht our daughter is so sick
But I'm eternally grateful she's mine.

Tht doesn't mean tht at times
I don't struggle to go on
But it is because I love my daughter so
Tht I try to remain strong.

If I lose my precious child
And they say tht I will
I know You will tk her home Lord
But I will Love her still.

By: Nanette Pethick 28/07/03
(Melissa passed away on the 7th of August, just after her 8th bday)

I hope this poem has evoke emotions in us, but tht we can draw somethin frm it and tht is: Treasure the pple ya love TODAY.

"I do not fear tomorrow coz I know I'm loved today."

Goin for my exam quite soon but am very under-prepared. I spent the day yesterday doin the blog thingy, searchin for templates and talkin to my dad (who's here on a visit) Despite me bein so pedantic over the exam, I didn't do much abt it. Pretty much says alot abt me right? Die. *sob*

Plannin to incorporate some other bits and pieces my blog but not quite sure wht yet. Suggestions? Cheers guys. Goin out with my parents tonight.

Hey guys.

Thought I'll add some more stuff to this thingy. If anyone know a blogger website, pls inform me alright? Wld love to change the template of this blog. Cheers.

I've exam tmr and I've just spent the afternoon creatin this thing. Am I suicidal or wht? Think so. Scared stiff just as we speak because I know nuts abt the Microeconomics exam tmr! (More like peanuts) I need to do some serious MUGGIN tonight. As ya guys know. I'm a chao mugger durin exams and the slackest of slackest durin term. Good luck to me and all those havin exams: Nun, Lim Lee, Wendy, Mark C., Nick, Marc L. and others tht I am too brain-dead to think abt. Study hard!

Hm. Lesson of the day. I think this is the pivotal issue of "bein compeitive but not overdoin it".

I'd these friends whom I was very close with durin the 1st few wks of uni. Always at one of their places till the wee hrs of the morn. They are doin Commerce or Econs degrees. And they always mock me because I am relative young to be in uni and tht "I stress them out." They claim to say tht I always tell them I don't study when I am actually studyin very hard. It's obviously so ironic coz ALL MY WAKIN HRS ARE SPENT WITH THEM and I WAS NEVER DO MY WORK to the extent I was laggin in sch work big time. They say tht they hate pple who always say they don't study but yet are always studyin. (Referrin to me I think.) Anywho. I did this essay with one of them, let's call him X. I wrote the essay and he copied it off me, though he gave me some good ideas. The essay was submitted and returned yesterday. So I msg-ed him yesterday and this was wht unfolded:

Me: Hey, wht did ya get for ya essay?
X: Bad. Very bad lah. You?
Me: 16. (it's out of 20) You?
X: 18.

I mean, wht the hell? Why say this sorta thing? I usually close one eye and stuff, not carin abt it. But considerin he is my friend and he hates pple sayin stuff tht they do otherwise, he actually said wht he said. I feel quite relieved tht I stopped hangin out with them 3wks ago coz I think I need to prioritize and re-consider my position here. Lucky my other friends have been quite supportive and I've been hangin out in the lib cafe and lib just to try do my work.

So guys. I really learnt somethin frm this thing. Be true to others as ya want them to be true to them. When I study, I don't deny it. It's also a wake-up call to me to question myself who are my friends and those I can really trust. Esp when I am far away frm home. For those tht know me well (i.e. Gerald, Mark L., Min, pJ) ya know I don't wanna be hurt anymore. And I value friendship so much more after those ordeals tht change my life. Many a time, it haunts me here 24-7 as if I am force to relive it. But we can only look towards the future and never the past.

This new blog again, is dedicated to my best friend and may he visit me sometime soon, where ever he may be.

Tk care guys. Can't wait to hear frm ya. Love ya. Cheers.

Yours always,
Rach

Hey guys.

Just decided to make the switch frm the diaryland blog. Hadn't updated tht blog for close to 4mths already and I really doubt its purpose now. Hence, established this new blog. Sorry it must look really sparse now with a standard template but I promise to spruce this one up alright?

Hope ya guys like it here and keep readin! I know some of ya guys have been askin me wht happen to previous diary where I stopped rather briefly. Truth be told, I felt tht tht blog became quite the usual ho-hum tht wasn't wht it started out to be. In addition to mere additions of my daily happenins, I failed to include some impt issues of life. Hence, I've failed myself. (This sounds pretty intense I know.)

Anyhow. Really hope ya guys will like, enjoy and appreciate this new blog and as for the old diary thingy, I think I'll prob print some nicer entries tht I had, not only those abt faz wuz and Natt, and keep them as "momentos". Special shout outs to some very impt pple in my life: Gerald, pJ, Mark Lee!! (and Clay), Xingwen, Min and not forgettin the handsomest boys in my eyes (other than my dad), my godbros, Marcus and Eugene! Love ya guys heaps. Tk care ok?? Sms me abt this nifty (or not quite so) thing~.

Cheers, Jaa.

Yours always,
Rach