so tired of everything.

i reckon each time i blog. it's about what a pain in the ass my workload and uni is. i hate it. just thinking about it makes me cry. honestly. ask my course mates and they will tell you i have cried in uni 3 out of the 5 days in the past week. let's not even go into details.

let's talk about other things. like me putting on weight? like.. that's even more depressing.

had a really scary dream 2 nights ago. i tried to sms markie bro about it but apparently it didn't reach him. i dreamt that brobro was trying to find me or something and was calling out "meimei, where are you?" over and over again. and i was standing in front of him (or thats what i thought anyways) but he couldn't see nor hear me. i was screaming out to him that i was there.... but he just couldn't see nor hear me. then i realised i was dead and i just wanted to tell him how much i love him but i couldn't. it was heartbreaking.

markie bro said he didn't get my sms. but it's all good now. i spoke to him briefly on msn. he reassured me. oh man. i missed him heaps. GOD knows i think the world of him and jeffie. jeffie's preparing to leave for hanoi in late september for a job there. i won't be seeing him when i go back. gosh. i am gonna miss him heaps. he's like one half of the rock that props me up along with mark. the physical distance between him and i is just getting further. i am hoping to get a job at the end of the year, save up, visit him and return with him in time for CNY. that's what i hope for. we'll see how that goes.

i hope jeff finds happiness in hanoi. he doesn't know what lies ahead. well, neither do i. but we can only hope for the best right? i am hanging on for him. i hope he does like wise for me.