"t o p s y k r e t t s - divulge your dirty little secret!" oh come on, do you think your msn nickname is oh-so-cool. look who's talking. your dirty secrets i know of them. you probably know that i know about them now. but do you really think by treating me the way you do, you are justified?
walking to uni with your earphones firmly plugged into your ears even though i am walking along side you, thats downright fucking rude. but that's what you are right. i wouldn't even say 'who' because you are beyond human. you are cold-blooded, insensitive, rude, think you're all that. but what really..... its a facade. one big fat joke. i know you think the joke is on me. but no...... at least i haven't been untrue to who i am. whatever you may say about me. if i have unglam moments, so be it. if i am manja about something, thats just me being me. if i chose to do something downright shameful, i will admit to it.
but you? you just like to portray yourself as this uber hot, uber composed guy who has got it all. deep down inside, you bury your many dirty little secrets. you know, i am fine with you having your own secrets. i am. because look, everyone has their deep dark side. but for you to turn around and blame me, humiliate me, shame me and then act so high and mighty, that i cannot swallow. it's so hard to let it go. so hard.
every waking moment i struggle. i struggle between being civil to you as a housemate, struggle not to confront you about what a sick fuck you are and struggle to move on. i know, in time, i will be able to reach an equilibrium in balancing all these struggles but right now, its overwhelming me. sometimes i just want to pick up the phone and call someone and tell someone everything, but i can't. without the risk of being judged.
i am bursting to let it all out. to tell someone and GOD how sorry i am. but i can't. i have no outlet. i am ashamed yet i proud to face the consequences. because i made the decision, i am accountable. i won't blame you, nor blame anyone else. but everything has to be contained inside me. torturing me slowly but surely......
don't treat me the way you do anymore. please.
walking to uni with your earphones firmly plugged into your ears even though i am walking along side you, thats downright fucking rude. but that's what you are right. i wouldn't even say 'who' because you are beyond human. you are cold-blooded, insensitive, rude, think you're all that. but what really..... its a facade. one big fat joke. i know you think the joke is on me. but no...... at least i haven't been untrue to who i am. whatever you may say about me. if i have unglam moments, so be it. if i am manja about something, thats just me being me. if i chose to do something downright shameful, i will admit to it.
but you? you just like to portray yourself as this uber hot, uber composed guy who has got it all. deep down inside, you bury your many dirty little secrets. you know, i am fine with you having your own secrets. i am. because look, everyone has their deep dark side. but for you to turn around and blame me, humiliate me, shame me and then act so high and mighty, that i cannot swallow. it's so hard to let it go. so hard.
every waking moment i struggle. i struggle between being civil to you as a housemate, struggle not to confront you about what a sick fuck you are and struggle to move on. i know, in time, i will be able to reach an equilibrium in balancing all these struggles but right now, its overwhelming me. sometimes i just want to pick up the phone and call someone and tell someone everything, but i can't. without the risk of being judged.
i am bursting to let it all out. to tell someone and GOD how sorry i am. but i can't. i have no outlet. i am ashamed yet i proud to face the consequences. because i made the decision, i am accountable. i won't blame you, nor blame anyone else. but everything has to be contained inside me. torturing me slowly but surely......
don't treat me the way you do anymore. please.
posted by princess rach at
10:07 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home