you liar. you fucking liar.

you KNEW why you picked that very moment to wake me up in the middle of the night to pick a quarrel with me. it wasn't because i pissed you off, it wasn't because i did anything wrong. it was because right that very day, that very moment, you didn't need me anymore. you didn't need me anymore to feed for perversion.

so you did that single act of utmost cruelty to me on that very day. you turned on me.

i spent weeks, trying to comprehend everything that has happened. the emotional baggage, the sleep lost, the tears shed, the frustration, the suffering workload. i just couldn't understand. you blamed me for everything. you insulted me, humiliated me and claimed i am not worthy of any respect.

but you did this all to deflect the attention away from what a low lying scum you are. i tried to move on from it but something in me couldn't connect the dots, hence i couldn't let go. yes, i assumed all wrong, allowed you to blame me. but something never sat right in me. i knew there was more to it but i couldn't figure out what, because i had already let you get me down.

this whole week, i finally understood why you did what you did. i am sure you can remember the very day you woke up me, on the day of my exam, to start this whole thing. it's not because it's so fucking memorable. but because, it's the day we had our internet connected. i know everyone reading will be like "big deal". yes, i thought so too. everyone reading this has internet, so of course, to get internet you must connect it right? duh. doesn't take a scientist to work that out.

unknown to me, the internet is everything to you. to supplement your needs, or shall i say perversion. when we had no internet, you didn't really have a choice right. you didn't know where else to look for what you wanted. so whatever came along was good enough. but the moment we had internet, you just didn't settle for whatever came along. because she wasn't needed anymore. you used me, you sick fuck.

if i didn't accidentally stumble upon what you had on your computer screen that day when slapping on moisturizer.. if i hadn't seen the phone ringing while you were in the shower that day, i would have never known. never known what a hideous person you are. that you would stoop so low to do what you do AND then blame me for everything that went wrong and make me the scapegoat. worse still, to torture me weeks on end for it.

you are my biggest disappointment. you're inhuman.