went out coffee with louis and aaron today. realise it's been a long while since i'd last since aaron. missed him heaps. he'd been this brotherly figure here in perth and ever since i'd stopped going to BPCWA, we hardly chat. it was a good catch up. initially we wanted to go to oriels but when we got there, it was bloody packed! so we headed for my usual, bubble tea.
dennis' little dating topic has been hanging around in my head for awhile now, so i took the opportunity to bring it up with 2 different guys to seek their opinions. rather interesting but poor louis, he really seems too innocent!!! i think he'd be taken advantage of in the not too distant future, it's just a matter of time. prove me wrong yah, louis?
anyways, somehow it evolved into the topic of will i date a poorer guy. and my answer is most likely not. i don't care of you guys start dissing. 2 years ago, if you'd ask me the same question, my answer will be yes, without a doubt. the rachel 2 years ago was a passionate "love conquers everything" girl. but with another failed relationship under my belt [not that i had many!] i'd become more cynical. my ex-bf (who might be reading this) was from a different socio-economic background. i use to think it didn't matter. but i realise it does play a very large role in partner-seeking, because it is essentially related to your upbringing.
well, J's family operates so much differently to mine. an example i'd give (which i've edited abit to make it a more concrete example) will be that of private sports clubs. one night while having dinner with his family, his father passes a comment about private sports club [edited part: let's say he said that it's for only rich, arrogant, snobby people who have nothing better to do with their money]. i paused for a second there. i grew up all my life going to keppel. frankly, i cannot imagine not going there. it was through keppel i knew the guys i'd grown to love so much - gerald and markk. it was in keppel where i had swimming lessons, played badminton, golf, dined, and gymmed in. i cannot fathom what it would have been like if i never went there. and whilst i'd gone there all my life, i didn't realise, until i got to primary 5 or 6, that recreation clubs were only for the people who can afford it, namely the upper class people. i use to think anyone can walk in and use the facilities. i didn't go to the club intentionally to set myself apart from others.
i am not discriminating the less fortunate people. i am not rich myself. but GOD has blessed my family with alittle more. on the contrary, i respect the less well-off people. i have a friend who isn't well-off, but she is one of the dearest friends to me. she is determined, kind-hearted and most importantly the best possible friend she can be. i cannot ask for more. i love and respect her despite her background. however, when considering a lifelong partner. it's more than just friendship. this is the guy you're gonna marry and have kids with. so back to the issue, marrying a guy from the same socio-economic background ensures that the guy is able to provide you with the same standard of living you are use to and there will then be one less reason to argue. the thing is, even if the girl is willing to compromise on this one issue, one little compromise upon another upon another adds up to one who massive issue: FINANCES. i am no expert at this, most definitely, but one of the most common reasons for divorces and quarrels is one that of finances. its just hard to reconcile the differences i think. just too tough.
initially louis was scoffing at me but after much explanation (in my round-about way) he said he understood. but frankly, i still think he doesn't. after it didn't work out with my ex, i'd given it much thought. no amount of indefinite love can mend all the loopholes in the incompatibility, unless it was GOD's will. but if it wasn't, the relationship ain't gonna survive on just love. i can give so much more examples on the tough-ness of a guy being from a lower socio-economic background but i shan't. i'm extremely tired (eyes about to shut any time soon) and i'll get way too grandmother-naggy.
some people can argue that there are situations where it all worked out. yes, i defintiely agree the happy endings do occur sometimes. it was GOD's hand in the relationship, but would think there's a large proportion of such situations that don't. and i think, personally, it wouldn't work for me anyhow. but at least, i've tried my best and given it all i've got. but the differences just wouldn't reconcile. and well, what doesn't break you makes you. my views on this whole "dating less well off guy" has changed. i don't think i'd look for a guy that much richer too. it just wouldn't feel right.
guess my brain has shut down. will comment more after i've gotten some winkks.
dennis' little dating topic has been hanging around in my head for awhile now, so i took the opportunity to bring it up with 2 different guys to seek their opinions. rather interesting but poor louis, he really seems too innocent!!! i think he'd be taken advantage of in the not too distant future, it's just a matter of time. prove me wrong yah, louis?
anyways, somehow it evolved into the topic of will i date a poorer guy. and my answer is most likely not. i don't care of you guys start dissing. 2 years ago, if you'd ask me the same question, my answer will be yes, without a doubt. the rachel 2 years ago was a passionate "love conquers everything" girl. but with another failed relationship under my belt [not that i had many!] i'd become more cynical. my ex-bf (who might be reading this) was from a different socio-economic background. i use to think it didn't matter. but i realise it does play a very large role in partner-seeking, because it is essentially related to your upbringing.
well, J's family operates so much differently to mine. an example i'd give (which i've edited abit to make it a more concrete example) will be that of private sports clubs. one night while having dinner with his family, his father passes a comment about private sports club [edited part: let's say he said that it's for only rich, arrogant, snobby people who have nothing better to do with their money]. i paused for a second there. i grew up all my life going to keppel. frankly, i cannot imagine not going there. it was through keppel i knew the guys i'd grown to love so much - gerald and markk. it was in keppel where i had swimming lessons, played badminton, golf, dined, and gymmed in. i cannot fathom what it would have been like if i never went there. and whilst i'd gone there all my life, i didn't realise, until i got to primary 5 or 6, that recreation clubs were only for the people who can afford it, namely the upper class people. i use to think anyone can walk in and use the facilities. i didn't go to the club intentionally to set myself apart from others.
i am not discriminating the less fortunate people. i am not rich myself. but GOD has blessed my family with alittle more. on the contrary, i respect the less well-off people. i have a friend who isn't well-off, but she is one of the dearest friends to me. she is determined, kind-hearted and most importantly the best possible friend she can be. i cannot ask for more. i love and respect her despite her background. however, when considering a lifelong partner. it's more than just friendship. this is the guy you're gonna marry and have kids with. so back to the issue, marrying a guy from the same socio-economic background ensures that the guy is able to provide you with the same standard of living you are use to and there will then be one less reason to argue. the thing is, even if the girl is willing to compromise on this one issue, one little compromise upon another upon another adds up to one who massive issue: FINANCES. i am no expert at this, most definitely, but one of the most common reasons for divorces and quarrels is one that of finances. its just hard to reconcile the differences i think. just too tough.
initially louis was scoffing at me but after much explanation (in my round-about way) he said he understood. but frankly, i still think he doesn't. after it didn't work out with my ex, i'd given it much thought. no amount of indefinite love can mend all the loopholes in the incompatibility, unless it was GOD's will. but if it wasn't, the relationship ain't gonna survive on just love. i can give so much more examples on the tough-ness of a guy being from a lower socio-economic background but i shan't. i'm extremely tired (eyes about to shut any time soon) and i'll get way too grandmother-naggy.
some people can argue that there are situations where it all worked out. yes, i defintiely agree the happy endings do occur sometimes. it was GOD's hand in the relationship, but would think there's a large proportion of such situations that don't. and i think, personally, it wouldn't work for me anyhow. but at least, i've tried my best and given it all i've got. but the differences just wouldn't reconcile. and well, what doesn't break you makes you. my views on this whole "dating less well off guy" has changed. i don't think i'd look for a guy that much richer too. it just wouldn't feel right.
guess my brain has shut down. will comment more after i've gotten some winkks.
posted by princess rach at
12:30 AM
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