when i saw you on msn today, my heart danced with joy.

it's been weeks since i've last chatted with you and i have been thinking about you a great deal. missing those little chats.

you asked me how i was and i told you i have been well, busy but well.

you asked me why is it i keep having photos of mark and myself as my display picture, as if i didn't have a boyfriend.

i simply replied, that's because i don't have a boyfriend and am not looking for one. i asked you how you were doing and if you were attached.

you said "i'm dating a girl now, for the first time in years" and went offline.

my dreams shattered.

i never thought i was going to be the one who would change you, though my friends told me if you were really worth it, i should give it all i got and fight.

you were every bit worth it and more but i didn't want to fight, because i was scared. scared you would choose a guy over me.

but now i know. the intense pain doesn't stem from choosing another guy, but changing for another girl. another girl which isn't me.

tears are streaming down my face. i didn't imagine i would be as heartbroken as this.

why didn't you ask me why i wasn't looking for a boyfriend? i would have told you.

i would have told you that's because i found the imperfect guy who is perfect for me in you.