been so heavy hearted these few days because i am going back. i have been procastinating my packing. i think its psychological, i feel that packing makes leaving so final, as if i can really run away from reality. *rolls eyes*
today i had dinner with the 2 boys closest to my heart, markk and gerald, plus some other good fellows whom i have grown extremely attached too this hols - jeff, queenin and cedric. i'd arrange to meet everyone @ holland v for dinner/coffee and good catching up. initially i had reservations about all these 5 people being put at the same table because the group composition is a lil odd, like mark and jeff vs gerald, queenin and cedric. however, by the end of the meeting, i seriously wondered why the hell i was worrying for. everyone got along brilliantly! firstly, we headed to thai express for dinner. dinner was great but the companionship was even better! i reckon gerald was feeling quite cranky and he seemed to be in a mood for telling extremely lame jokes till it got us laughing and scratching our heads.
we then proceeded to tcc for a follow-up coffee. cedric caught us with an amazingly stupid joke which got markk spitting out his water! haha, and when our drinks arrived and i attempted to steal markk's oreo cookie, markk made the theft more difficult - i had to steal it from his mouth! wahaha. not the first time since we (markk, jeff and i) were playing pass the lemon slice with our mouths @ phunk on saturday. however, this time i bit mark's lip! oopsie!! my bad. out of practice mah. hahaha. sorry bro! oh gosh. we had such a hilarious time, with jeff being in a pms-y mood, gerald in a cranky mood and me being completely bitchy. i love them so much. queenin as usual was in her usual quietness, but we still adore her all the same.
walking away from tcc to go our separate ways was one of the hardest things i'd to do. sounds so f.simple, but it's not. my heart broke knowing i won't see cedric and queenin anytime soon. i'm, however, determined to see gerald, jeff and markk once more. i have so many regrets this hols - why did i only realise cedric was such cute and lovable fun in the last couple weeks before i leave? arghh. considering i knew him from ages ago. and queenin - what can i say about her? she's such a level-headed, mature and caring girl.... i wished i had utilized more time to know her even better. my level of respect for her extremely high.
i decided to take a cab home because it was getting late. i told markk i'll drop him off at his house, just a lil off the usual route, but no biggie. i hugged mark real tight, swap kisses and off her went. the emotional burden in my heart only got heavier. i tried controlling tears from rolling down. why cry right? so silly, big girl already with 3 years experience overseas, why cry? sighs, i don't know. maybe i do know lahs - it's the fear of returning to loneliess down under. i have friends there but none as dear to me as gerald, mark, xing and the rest to me. the fun i have here with them, the memories i have.... i can just relive them everyday but yet be powerless to see them, touch them, run to them for anything. and it hurts even more to know if something happens to any of them, shld they be troubled, in need of help/love/friendship, i am not around to be with them. esp with gerald and his singapore idol journey. i hate myself for it honestly.
lately, everyone has beeen asking me the question heavy on their minds for the past few years "why did you leave singapore? you cld have gone to a decent JC and then to a local uni. so why?" in all honesty, up to now, i also don't know why. it sounds so silly, but its true, i didn't know why. back then, i remembered wanting to go to poly instead of JC, which sort of horrified my parents in a sense. and somehow, one thing lead to another and i ended up doing college overseas. at the end of the day, i lost any sense of purpose in doing anything. i can't say i regretted going overseas, no after all the money my dad has spent on me. i respect him immensely for that and will always be grateful. going overseas certainly imparted many of life's lessons to me. however, i can't say i am having the time of my life either. i'm not. i'm always feeling lonely. certainly i have adjusted to life overseas but it doesn't deter me from being homesick and missing my loved ones. home is always where my heart will be.
lastly, who's the boss? when man was created, all parts of the body argued who should be boss. the brain said he should be boss since he controlled all thoughts. the eyes said he should be boss since without him, man wouldn't be able to see. the legs then countered this by saying that it was him that brought man wherever he wanted to go. the stomach argued that it was him that provided nutrition forthe whole body and he should be boss. then the asshole applied for the job. the other parts laughed so hard that the asshole got angry and closed up for a week. the stomach got upset, the legs went wobbly, the brain started to go wonky and the eyes got crossed. finally, they conceded that the asshole will be the boss. this proves that you don't have to be a brain to be a boss, just an asshole.
today i had dinner with the 2 boys closest to my heart, markk and gerald, plus some other good fellows whom i have grown extremely attached too this hols - jeff, queenin and cedric. i'd arrange to meet everyone @ holland v for dinner/coffee and good catching up. initially i had reservations about all these 5 people being put at the same table because the group composition is a lil odd, like mark and jeff vs gerald, queenin and cedric. however, by the end of the meeting, i seriously wondered why the hell i was worrying for. everyone got along brilliantly! firstly, we headed to thai express for dinner. dinner was great but the companionship was even better! i reckon gerald was feeling quite cranky and he seemed to be in a mood for telling extremely lame jokes till it got us laughing and scratching our heads.
we then proceeded to tcc for a follow-up coffee. cedric caught us with an amazingly stupid joke which got markk spitting out his water! haha, and when our drinks arrived and i attempted to steal markk's oreo cookie, markk made the theft more difficult - i had to steal it from his mouth! wahaha. not the first time since we (markk, jeff and i) were playing pass the lemon slice with our mouths @ phunk on saturday. however, this time i bit mark's lip! oopsie!! my bad. out of practice mah. hahaha. sorry bro! oh gosh. we had such a hilarious time, with jeff being in a pms-y mood, gerald in a cranky mood and me being completely bitchy. i love them so much. queenin as usual was in her usual quietness, but we still adore her all the same.
walking away from tcc to go our separate ways was one of the hardest things i'd to do. sounds so f.simple, but it's not. my heart broke knowing i won't see cedric and queenin anytime soon. i'm, however, determined to see gerald, jeff and markk once more. i have so many regrets this hols - why did i only realise cedric was such cute and lovable fun in the last couple weeks before i leave? arghh. considering i knew him from ages ago. and queenin - what can i say about her? she's such a level-headed, mature and caring girl.... i wished i had utilized more time to know her even better. my level of respect for her extremely high.
i decided to take a cab home because it was getting late. i told markk i'll drop him off at his house, just a lil off the usual route, but no biggie. i hugged mark real tight, swap kisses and off her went. the emotional burden in my heart only got heavier. i tried controlling tears from rolling down. why cry right? so silly, big girl already with 3 years experience overseas, why cry? sighs, i don't know. maybe i do know lahs - it's the fear of returning to loneliess down under. i have friends there but none as dear to me as gerald, mark, xing and the rest to me. the fun i have here with them, the memories i have.... i can just relive them everyday but yet be powerless to see them, touch them, run to them for anything. and it hurts even more to know if something happens to any of them, shld they be troubled, in need of help/love/friendship, i am not around to be with them. esp with gerald and his singapore idol journey. i hate myself for it honestly.
lately, everyone has beeen asking me the question heavy on their minds for the past few years "why did you leave singapore? you cld have gone to a decent JC and then to a local uni. so why?" in all honesty, up to now, i also don't know why. it sounds so silly, but its true, i didn't know why. back then, i remembered wanting to go to poly instead of JC, which sort of horrified my parents in a sense. and somehow, one thing lead to another and i ended up doing college overseas. at the end of the day, i lost any sense of purpose in doing anything. i can't say i regretted going overseas, no after all the money my dad has spent on me. i respect him immensely for that and will always be grateful. going overseas certainly imparted many of life's lessons to me. however, i can't say i am having the time of my life either. i'm not. i'm always feeling lonely. certainly i have adjusted to life overseas but it doesn't deter me from being homesick and missing my loved ones. home is always where my heart will be.
lastly, who's the boss? when man was created, all parts of the body argued who should be boss. the brain said he should be boss since he controlled all thoughts. the eyes said he should be boss since without him, man wouldn't be able to see. the legs then countered this by saying that it was him that brought man wherever he wanted to go. the stomach argued that it was him that provided nutrition forthe whole body and he should be boss. then the asshole applied for the job. the other parts laughed so hard that the asshole got angry and closed up for a week. the stomach got upset, the legs went wobbly, the brain started to go wonky and the eyes got crossed. finally, they conceded that the asshole will be the boss. this proves that you don't have to be a brain to be a boss, just an asshole.
posted by princess rach at
2:33 AM
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