got home after a day of studying [aka note making]. shagged. still got abit to go but i'm pressing on tonight. met up with one of my girlies, caro to study today. she has microbiology exam tomorrow. we went to tcc @boatquay and oh my goodness, i swear it's the f.best chillout ever. awesome ambience, super courteous staff and they f.allowed me to use the powerpoint for my comp! how much better can it get? it can't. i am so loving that place! they even called me when caro left her microbiology notes behind so that caro cld collect them. highly recommended! tcc @ boatquay. i wonder if bro is up to it to study there soon. no idea. he's been sick and in a foul mood (due to his missing ipod) that i just feel so awful for him. i think the exams and the missing ipod is just getting to him.

was chatting to caro and she kept raving about dan the man (her bf). how love changes someone. you know, when i watched her filled with love when she sees dan, somehow, i feel jealous. don't get me wrong, i am VERY happy for her. she's such a dear to me and her happiness catches on. but me, there i am single and unattached with no prospectus whatsoever. i don't want to be an old maid. =( it's not that i don't want to look or something, but i just don't see any guy that can steal my heart away. maybe i had enough of it... i don't know. i want to be happy like caro, i want my heart to be forever dancing with joy when i speak of that special someone. i use to know how that felt, but now, i'm devoid of feelings - i'll just sit by and wait for whoever will ever love me. everyone tells me i have a long way more to go. i hate hearing that you know. yes you keep stressing to me i am still young and blah blah blah. but everyone does want that someone to hold and cuddle and love, whether he or she is 19 or 59. i'm no different. age, it really doesn't make much difference if you ask me. we're all humans, we yearn for human touch and affection. yes i am happy with my bro and my bestie. they make me happy and i did say earlier in my other posts that they are all i need for now. but they have their own lives to lead and their respective partners to love. i need that special someone too. but even when we all have special someones, our lives [mark, gerald and i] will forever run parallel, to me anyways. when bro told me he has raised his expectations of his next partner "love me, love my dog", how so i agree. i want my boyfriend to love me enough to respect how important mark and gerald are to me. and that the love i have for them is not one of romance but one of 'kinship'. thats what i expect my partner to accept. it's hard to work a relationship if my partner doesn't respect the 2 guys who build my character to what it is today.

yes. christmas is coming. i still have a list of christmas presents to buy. i don't know what to get for caro and xing really. esp since i've run out of ideas for the girls. but in the coming week or so, i have to get everyone's presents sorted. mark, g, caro, xing and all. i haven't got much time left nor much money since i'm jobless but i'm working at budgeting to get presents. if i'd a wish from mr santa in advance - it'll be for mark's missing ipod and calculator to be found, for his illness to disappear and for him to be blessed with someone special. yes. i wish for his happiness. it hurts to see him in such a foul mood and feel powerless to do anything. i wish him all the best with sweets/prettyb. and the exams too.

it was great catching up with you caro. thanks for the treat. it's on me the next time!! *love*