It's been a while since I have properly updated my blog. I actually wonder if anyone still reads it. Highly doubt it, but I wld like to reflect back months down the road and see if time indeed heals all wounds or if I had departed learning some lessons.

I have been EXTREMELY busy in the past few weeks, to the extent my health, both physically and mentally, deteriorated. I think the primary cause is the lack of sleep. I had been getting on average 3-4 hrs a day for a good couple weeks. I guess there's alot of developements in my life, of which, I can safely say, none are positive. If you guys wanna know more, approach me.

Life is full of ups and downs, happiness, sadness, compromise and sacrifice. Maybe I've just hit a low point. I know GOD will see me through this because HE has the power to do so. I thank GOD for such great housemates. In these recent weeks, they have done my share of housework, compromised on my cooking schedule and spent hrs talking to me, to relieve me of work and my problems. I don't know what I cld have done without them. I love them heaps!

However, I just refuse to shed a tear in front of them. They are worried abt me as it is, I tell them I am ok, but in reality, I'm not. I want to be ok, pretend I can still do everything as per normal. But something in my heart isn't right. Markie bro, Gerald, if you're reading this, "like a clown I put on a show, the pain is real even if nobody knows, and I'm dying inside, and nobody knows it but me.." Markie bro, G, I will give anything for you guys to be with me. The unshed tears lay hidden from view. I smile, I laugh, I joke. I wonder how long I can last.

"Like a fool I keep losing my place, I keep seeing you walk through that door. There's a danger with loving somebody too much, and it's sad when you know its heart you can't trust, there's a reason why people don't stay where they are. Baby, sometimes love just ain't enough."