Thursday, May 31, 2007

did you know that jim davis, the creator of garfield, specifically made garfield orange as it is scientifically proven to be true that orange cats generally are overweight?

not to mention that garfield is older than me. his birthday is on the 19th of june, 1978. omg. that makes him older than mark too.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

so many thoughts running through my head. i feel the need to just flush it all out.

first and foremost, to the author of the previous post - i will reply to that post, in a separate post entirely. to clump everything that has happened between us... 7 years of skeletons buried in our closet.. with this post of trivial ramblings does you no justice at all.

now.... a few entries back, i actually posted up photos of my room which featured my pretty crutches. and i think i very well jinxed myself that moment by saying i hope i didnt need to use them very soon. because on monday, i found myself in a situation similar to that of st james power station, only that i was walking to uni when it happened. needless to say, i never made it to uni and spent the day in hosp. to cut the grandmother story short, i have the fugliest leg brace ever to support that dodgy knee. and i will have to go for orthopedic treatment/physiotherapy during my exams. this is pure shit. but what can i do, really. i should have shut up about the crutches in the first place. now my pits are sore and swollen once again.

this following segment is specially dedicated to all the people who think that i am smart. no guys, rachel is definitely far from being a genius. to substantiate my point: i failed my first ever law assignment. intellectual property. i score an abysmal 8.5 out of 20. i haven't seen my paper just yet, but the blow to me was massive. i have never ever ever failed a single paper in my entire life. i have always scrapped heaps of passes. but to fail?? now, i couldn't swallow that. even though i was so tired/burnt out after submitting 4 papers beforehand, this is no excuse! i shouldn't fail. :( this means my intellectual property assessment mark to date is a shameful 57% percent. i need to pull huge numbers on the finals. which is not likely coz i have a paper barely 16 hours before. i just want to kick myself.

but thankfully, the trade off was worth it. i had a 50% essay that was due just before this intellectual property paper and i was freaking out big time on it. i dedicated almost ALL my time to this single research paper..... i ate, slept and breathed ADR (alternate dispute resolution) for almost 2 weeks. when i found out that i had failed IP, my heart dropped. if i didn't pass this ADR major essay, i would have just given up. completely. got my paper back today. i scored 78% - a distinction. 2 more % and i would have snagged my first ever law HD. well, it didn't happen but i won't be complaining. the trade off was paid off. whether it was worth it, that's another story. nothing can justify a failure i reckon.

now... awaiting my ABUS presentation + case study marks, corporations law mid semester exam grades and ADR presentation marks. if only i can pull through..............

Sunday, May 27, 2007

rachel
(thebookofopposites.blogspot.com)


once upon a time there was a 14 yr old boy.
one fine day he met a 14 yr old girl.
they fell in love.
one fine day, they fell out of love, and hated one another.

the girl probably din't know how much she changed his life.
how his life would never be the same again.

was he remorseful? probably.
was he hurt? definitely.

5 years down the road they met again..

was he happy? but of course yes.
was he wary? a little.
was he still feeling bitter? he would have lied if he said no.

2 yrs on..

the girl's in australia.
the boy's in singapore.

maybe the boy is afraid to be friends because he doesn't want to open his heart to her again
but i guess what the boy really wants.. is to apologise to the girl.

for everything.. for anything.. he had ever done to her.

to the girl who i met when there wasn't a place for her in my heart.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

i swear he is the most hilarious guy i am met. he is my most beloved gay white boy. but he is a member of A.S.I.A student organisation. he is white on the outside, yellow on the inside. frisky jaimee and him call me banana. we call him butternut pumpkin.

Michael says:
omg *cry*
rach ™ says:
whats wrong
Michael says:
father has one of his business associates over, this guy is like geek personified
Michael says:
*cry* he scares me so...
Michael says:
he is like "testing" our piano as i type!
rach ™ says:
omg.
rach ™ says:
that is scary.
Michael says:
*shudders* if i ever become like him, devoid of any fashion sense and being sociallably inept, promise me something? shoot me
Michael says:
like seriously, right inbetween the eyes.
Michael says:
put me out of my misery
rach ™ says:
hell yeah. gladly. with all my pleasure.

Friday, May 25, 2007



rach ™ says:
omg
rach ™ says:
what kinda cat is that
[c.h.u.n.z.] :: Found nemo :: says:
umm... mutant?
[c.h.u.n.z.] :: Found nemo :: says:
it was reported in e news
[c.h.u.n.z.] :: Found nemo :: says:
a cat in china suddenly grew wings
[c.h.u.n.z.] :: Found nemo :: says:
reportedly got sexually harassed then it started to sprout wings
[c.h.u.n.z.] :: Found nemo :: says:
so now we know wat happens to horny animals...
rach ™ says:
what the hell.
rach ™ says:
hahahaha.
rach ™ says:
i wonder if my housemate will grow wings then.
rach ™ says:
tsk.
[c.h.u.n.z.] :: Found nemo :: says:
haha...
my hideaway... my little haven. home away from home. this is long overdue.

my dresser/wardrobe. which was assembled from scratch by fucktard. note the wooden cube aromatheraphy burner i recently invested in. the best AUD$50 spent (excluding the oils)



double bed! 4 pillows, 1 boomerang cushion and a small neck rest (not in view). can it get any more plush. improvised my bedside table. it is actually just a velvet light brown storage box which i turned on the side to stand and put a night light in.

to the right of my bed is the built in wardrobe. thank God for a full length mirror. for hiao people like me.

taken from another angle - the doorway. so love my pretty crutches. the ribbons cost a crapload but thanks to xing for making it so pretty. hope i won't be needing it anytime soon.


just trying to show in some perspective what i see from one of the corners of my room.

eventually more photos will come up. they are long overdue aren't they. haha. tell me what you guys think about my room!!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

"t o p s y k r e t t s - divulge your dirty little secret!" oh come on, do you think your msn nickname is oh-so-cool. look who's talking. your dirty secrets i know of them. you probably know that i know about them now. but do you really think by treating me the way you do, you are justified?

walking to uni with your earphones firmly plugged into your ears even though i am walking along side you, thats downright fucking rude. but that's what you are right. i wouldn't even say 'who' because you are beyond human. you are cold-blooded, insensitive, rude, think you're all that. but what really..... its a facade. one big fat joke. i know you think the joke is on me. but no...... at least i haven't been untrue to who i am. whatever you may say about me. if i have unglam moments, so be it. if i am manja about something, thats just me being me. if i chose to do something downright shameful, i will admit to it.

but you? you just like to portray yourself as this uber hot, uber composed guy who has got it all. deep down inside, you bury your many dirty little secrets. you know, i am fine with you having your own secrets. i am. because look, everyone has their deep dark side. but for you to turn around and blame me, humiliate me, shame me and then act so high and mighty, that i cannot swallow. it's so hard to let it go. so hard.

every waking moment i struggle. i struggle between being civil to you as a housemate, struggle not to confront you about what a sick fuck you are and struggle to move on. i know, in time, i will be able to reach an equilibrium in balancing all these struggles but right now, its overwhelming me. sometimes i just want to pick up the phone and call someone and tell someone everything, but i can't. without the risk of being judged.

i am bursting to let it all out. to tell someone and GOD how sorry i am. but i can't. i have no outlet. i am ashamed yet i proud to face the consequences. because i made the decision, i am accountable. i won't blame you, nor blame anyone else. but everything has to be contained inside me. torturing me slowly but surely......

don't treat me the way you do anymore. please.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

you liar. you fucking liar.

you KNEW why you picked that very moment to wake me up in the middle of the night to pick a quarrel with me. it wasn't because i pissed you off, it wasn't because i did anything wrong. it was because right that very day, that very moment, you didn't need me anymore. you didn't need me anymore to feed for perversion.

so you did that single act of utmost cruelty to me on that very day. you turned on me.

i spent weeks, trying to comprehend everything that has happened. the emotional baggage, the sleep lost, the tears shed, the frustration, the suffering workload. i just couldn't understand. you blamed me for everything. you insulted me, humiliated me and claimed i am not worthy of any respect.

but you did this all to deflect the attention away from what a low lying scum you are. i tried to move on from it but something in me couldn't connect the dots, hence i couldn't let go. yes, i assumed all wrong, allowed you to blame me. but something never sat right in me. i knew there was more to it but i couldn't figure out what, because i had already let you get me down.

this whole week, i finally understood why you did what you did. i am sure you can remember the very day you woke up me, on the day of my exam, to start this whole thing. it's not because it's so fucking memorable. but because, it's the day we had our internet connected. i know everyone reading will be like "big deal". yes, i thought so too. everyone reading this has internet, so of course, to get internet you must connect it right? duh. doesn't take a scientist to work that out.

unknown to me, the internet is everything to you. to supplement your needs, or shall i say perversion. when we had no internet, you didn't really have a choice right. you didn't know where else to look for what you wanted. so whatever came along was good enough. but the moment we had internet, you just didn't settle for whatever came along. because she wasn't needed anymore. you used me, you sick fuck.

if i didn't accidentally stumble upon what you had on your computer screen that day when slapping on moisturizer.. if i hadn't seen the phone ringing while you were in the shower that day, i would have never known. never known what a hideous person you are. that you would stoop so low to do what you do AND then blame me for everything that went wrong and make me the scapegoat. worse still, to torture me weeks on end for it.

you are my biggest disappointment. you're inhuman.

Friday, May 18, 2007

the smell of your skin lingers on me
and i will miss you like the desert misses the rain
but i got to get a move on my life
it's time to be a big girl now
and big girls don't cry.

please hold my hand if you want to
because i want to hold yours too.
we'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
the smell of your skin lingers on me.

Friday, May 11, 2007

why the hell are you staying with me if you don't respect me? clearly, to you, i am overemotional and spoilt, i fail to understand you even though, according to you you are "not a hard nut to crack" and am blameworthy of everything that is going on now. then why, tell me why, are you staying with me?

evidently, i do not even meet your standards of how a person should be, as you have not hesitated to point that out to me. so what, i fall short of your respect. oh yes, and i clearly cannot give you what you require because i don't understand you. you know what, i am not even gonna try. why shld i bother if you don't care.

you are quick to diss me. don't even try and critisize me if you don't understand me. you think you have got me worked out. brilliant aren't you. you say you are the sort of person who gives his piece of mind. well guess what, i am that sort of person to. but there is a fine line in telling someone off and putting someone down. and you are quick to put me down. you make it seem like every single friend of yours has no fault and i am the only one who is at fault for everything. who falls short of your glory.

you have hurt me enough. mark was right. you won't respect me after it has been all said and done. don't try and act hero and said you are to blame coz you allowed it to happen. don't. it disgusts me. it takes two hands to make a decision and so don't try and say its your fault. don't make a wuss out of the puss. if you knew it was wrong from the start but chose to proceed, then live with the decision you have made. saying "i won't forgive myself for letting it happen" isn't going to make things any different or better. you lack the balls.

and. you say you hate it when people try to compare someone to your bestie coz no one ever can compare to her. you say she understands you completely and she is loved because she is who she is. what the fuck. who are you trying to kid. yourself? if she didn't look the way she did, i honestly think you wouldn't give a fuck. and you know that. if she looked like a fat cow, or like me as a matter of fact, you would have just dissed her right there and then. slammed her and treated her like she was worse than pus. come on... it's not JUST about how she relates to you. it's the fact she is pretty damn hot. don't act all deep on me.

don't. its ugly. and makes you look ugly.

telling other people off, putting over people down just to make you feel big and great.... it may have worked in my case. i make an easy scapegoat for everything that went wrong. but you know how karma works don't you.

it'll slap you right across the face. because you pretty damn deserve it. it doesn't take much for anything to be bigger than your dick.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

my foundations of asian business (ABUS) tutorial clique is my saving grace. i have never looked forward to tut as much as this because they are the most hilarious, bitchy bunch i have ever met.

i started this course without knowing anyone. come on, it's a friggin' 1st yr unit! but somehow or another, i met this 3 other crazyy people in the 1st week of tut and we're as tight as monkeys in crime. i swear our whole tut hate us. we have alot of weirdos in our tuts and we spend the time gossiping among ourselves, smirking at other people and mucking around with my computer.

there's the dutch exchange student chantal bune (the most serious one among the lot), underaged and a very gay white boy michael baxter, the next-in-line queen of bitches (after me of course) south african-born indian jaimee desai and of course, me. a typical tut day. e.g.

me (showing a photo of ash sitting on nick's lap): see? this is my cat.
jaimee: she's pretty. whats her name
?me: ash. but my housemate calls her pusspuss.
jaimee: what the fug is pusspuss?
michael: you have a male housemate?
me (shows photo of nick): yes
michael: omg, he's hot.
jaimee: hell yeah.
michael: so is he your boyfriend?
me: hell no.
jaimee: i know.... Friends with Benefits
me: you mean.. FUCK BUDDIES?
michael: oh yeah, he can be my Friend with Benefits anytime.
jaimee: so rach, he is your Friend with Benefit
me: ooooooh, you wicked witch. you might be right after all. or maybe not.
michael: someone has a Friend with Benefits!
me: mikie, you are way to young and definitely underage to be a participate of a R18 chat!

omg. they are crazyy. and this is just ONE of the MANY nonsensical moments we have had. they are frigging hilarious. gosh i love them.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

seems like mark isn't the only one with weird dreams.

last night, i had this really vivid dream that i was at a wedding rehearsal. to be exact, my own wedding rehearsal. intially, the face/identity of the groom was even unclear to me. but whatever it is, it was a pretty damn detailed. we were on this massive stage in a massive field, with the groom and i on stage. i was laughing and smiling. when i turned to face the field, i saw my parents standing below, proudly. as if it was the happiest day of my dad's entire life. he looked esctatic.

out of nowhere, this guy in a smartly dressed suit presented groom and i with a bottle filled with this orange shower gel with blue exfoliating beads (i told you it was vivid!) telling us it was compliment with the wedding rehearsal company [i have no idea what is a wedding researsal company] and told us to do 'other things' with it while winking at us. that is when my ex-boyfriend's face popped in, as that of the groom's.

it was that it was a rude jolt. and i was screaming inside "i do not want to marry this guy! he has no future!" the thoughts racing through my mind was that i didn't want to live a commoner's life and what will happen to my social status. i didn't want to lower my current living standards. there was no way i was going to marry him. in my dream, i run off the stage and was pacing on the grass up and down trying to cancel the wedding. thats when i was awoke. sat up abruptly and stared into the sky.

this is when it occurred to me, i cannot marry someone who does not have a bright future. and it finally dawned on me that i never really could have dated him. we were too different.

sue me, i am a superficial cow.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007


fucktard's bao bei, puss, watching tv.
this is also our tv bench, which has never been featured before.